There is nothing wrong with feeling angry. It's all about how we deal with that anger.
For some people it is a sin to get angry. There is no place for anger in their lives. They believe they should never be angry. I believe it is okay to feel angry. Anger is a legitimate emotion just as joy, fear, peace and frustration are. Anger is can be a response to stress – the “fight or flight” response.
The issue is, how that anger affects our behaviour toward others.
There is such a thing as “righteous anger” – when an injustice has been committed against us, when our dignity has been attacked, when we see somebody else being wronged. Anger can motivate us to right wrongs, to rectify injustice.
Sometimes when we feel angry, we suppress it, bottling up the anger within our subconscious. At the time of our anger we may walk away for fear of what we may say or do. That’s better than lashing out. But it’s still not resolving the anger in a lasting way. Anger may raise its head on another day when we are more vulnerable and have less self-control.
In using aspects of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) and/or Narrative Exposure Therapy (NET), I support clients to:
• cease using violence as a way of addressing their difficulties and their relationships.
• cease using violence as a way of dealing with their feelings.
• change beliefs and attitudes which are behind violent behaviour.
• to develop a range of constructive ways of dealing with their feelings, relationships and life difficulties.
• to look at and reaffirm their life goals.